EXPECTATIONS !!is there a end i wonder

So here i am back after i puked out all my frustrations in my previous post,and got an honest opinion from many of my class mates about it ,though i never expected it seriously but at least i was able to put forward my opinions in front of my "so called" and true friends ,had a lot of arguments with a few people ,but it helped me to clear my stand in front of them ,what i truly feel about them .i could no longer live a life of being a hypocrite being sweet in front of them and lambasting them on their backs........anyways enough about the sad things there's some good news to give

It's result season and IIT JEE results are out (i know all of my readers had enough of it ),but there's a slight change in the script this time ,i did not give the exam (yee being 23 it would be shameful) but my sis did give it and she cleared it ,yesss yessss finally she was able to achieve a good rank in her first attempt ,that i could not in my three attempts ,and i was more happy than her for obvious reasons ,but then a feeling of guilt did strike me ,why the hell i was realizing my dream through her ,what right did i have to virtually force her to give JEE when she was more interested in pursuing a career in medicine ,it all boils down to the word EXPECTATION.

I did promise myself that i would never be like the whole world ,trying to follow the herd in her case ,as i did in my case , i would try to be rational but ultimately i did follow the flock in a blind manner .perhaps it's to do with the experiences i had in my life that are to be blamed ,in my school days in class XI an XII my mom expected me to be in iit ,pursuing my bachelors a dream which i never fulfill (though i hope a masters and doctorate from IIT will some what cover up for it).coming to a wider point of view ,there have been instances when people have landed up at the wrong place because they had to fulfill someone's expectations and ultimately they ruined there life for good, what i have realized in a short span of time is that the more you achieve more the expectations of people rise and its pretty hard to fulfill them .it's like climbing a ladder where one reaches at the top and suddenly asks himself "why the hell i am here??",we all decide to be in iit's iim's because the picture is rosy ,media hypes them and we try to prove that we are the best ,its about what others thing about ourselves ,we need to build an aura of invincibility around ourselves but soon many of us realize it wasn't the the smartest move we ever made ,for instance studying computer science is not all about making those beautiful power point presentations or that flashy graphics.

It's because of these expectations from others that we change our lifestyle,our thinking and what not,perhaps the best thing is to follow one's heart and not one's mind beacuse heart is correct in 99 out of 100 cases in life .if you aren't happy with what you are doing ,no amount of money can make you think that you are happy (i know many will argue that money is everything in life ,but surely it isn't) ,if you believe you can fulfill your dream then go for it ,even if one fails the experiences will make him a better person in life ,for instance i did prepare for JEE in my college first year and now i am bearing the fruits as that preparation helped me to improve my analytical skills immensely,so don't always try to fulfill expectations of the whole world ,because more than ninety nine percent of individuals aren't as intelligent as you are.

AND finally i did dump away my JEE admit cards of three years and those counseling letters from IIT after five years after my sis's JEE result because a dream is fulfilled (ohhh wait i again started to realize my dream through her ,kya karoooon i am like another human being )

I CAN'T HELP IT!!!!!!!!!! though changes are for good , I AM TRYYYYYYYIIING .......

GOOD FOR NOTHING----Haven't i heard it before

There have been a series of posts which i have written during the wee hours of the morning ,to take out my my anger and frustration,but ultimately i deleted them because i thought it will not be "politically correct" to express my views in this manner,as it will be considered as a timid act ,an action which will show that i am afraid to come out in open and speak in front of everyone ,but whatever everyone else says i am going ahead with this post .

Last week when i saw a documentary of lance Armstrong on TV ,there was an advertisement which answered his critics who have lambasted him over the years over the dope allegations ,that ad had just one answer to the question "What am i on???" and the response was "I am on my bike" ,and it was a fitting reply to his critics ,well i have heard some pretty good one liners against me "you re good for nothing" ,"you take life as a joke" ,"tumhara kuch nahi ho sakta " and the list can go on an on...........................................................,these are the challenges i have faced over a short span of my life .

Life is a constant struggle for as long as we keep battling forces that can be overcome with enough effort and resolve. But when you are brought down to your knees and kept there by a giant invisible hand that is simply impossible to throw off, you can finally give up. I keep imagining being beaten by Fate so roundly that I can then guiltlessly give up the Sisyphean struggle I go through all day, all week, all year. Every time I face a problem that looks as though it might just be too big for me, I come across a new one that makes the first one pale in comparison. But the day I allow myself to finally, absolutely give up on life, the future will cease to matter,so why not better fight them and prove that I AM GOOD.

Here i would like to mention a special note of thanks to my Under graduate college ,which frustrated me so much that it ultimately inspired me to achieve big ,and put a lid on mouth of people who had lambasted me disgraced me over the years ,one of the instance which i still remember was a teacher (i wouldn't like to take the name and spoil my blog) telling me after hearing my GATE score and rank

"It's no Big deal clearing GATE"

Yeaaaah sure it isn't a big deal getting a percentile in the top 99 ,it isn't a big deal undersatnding the complexity of algorithms,learning about P vs NP itssss too easy for him ,bcoz his so called favorite students never even had the courage to sit for the exam let alone clear it .........is some one listening???

Then i was told that i was mad about JEE (i gave it twice in my college) because i wanted a thappa or a mark ,but IIT's are much beyond a simple thappa in the life ,here you learn teachers don't shy away from teaching complexities of algorithms and not teaching how to dream in class ,you get to study the mathematics behind the graphic algorithms and not flying a bird ,drawing a tree (i guess there are enough graphic designers for this stuffff)

How can i forget about the so called future wanna be facchas preparing for cat ,and showing off to the world that they are preparing for it (some of them started from the first year itself) with goal IIMA , i wasn't against them but then you dont have to take your books in the lecture classes and show that you are preparing for cat (it is ridiculous) ,so coming to the cat story one needs to understand that only speaking english in a foreign accent does not make you a good manager ,there's DI and MATHS that you need to crack and you have to work for it ,it's no styyloooo lingo that will help here and there were certain individuals which i genuinely though would make it to the IIM's ,but as the fate decided i made it ,though i gave the boot to IIMK ,because i could afford to do soooo

I would not say that i haven't committed mistakes in life ,my flunking the second semester ,will still haunt me in my life , because i made my parents cry ,left myself disappointed but what i wanted to convey is that one should never judge a book by it's cover because unless and until you see what's inside it ,you would never come to know the true contents inside it ,so please stop forming opinions about individuals ,lambasting them ,disgracing them because there are comebacks in life ,and why always follow conventional ways to success when there are alternative ones and i am of the opinion that "when people say you can't do it,it's because they are not able to do it" so follow your heart and finally show that "WE ARE GOOOD FOR SOMETHING".

There have been a lot of individuals which have hurt me by their comments ,and many which became my friends after having achieved something in life (you are able to distinguish between true and fake friends in this scenario),told me my life is doomed an what not but in the end i am having the last laugh and not they ,and that's what is important.

The Class of 392 !!!

392,392 !!! it's the only thing i have remembered over the past four years of my college life ,because it's the only positive thing i can carry forward with me , morons who haven't been part of this bus journey would never appreciate the fact why we people are mad about this bus ,i have listened to comments like "aise bol rahe ho ki ye Mercedes ho " ,but still the emotions that have been attached to this bus journey will never be forgotten ,but this post is not about my feelings but the joy,sadness that we all as a part of 392 gang have shared over the past four years ,and this collage picture is a testimony to that ,its like a film script which hasn't seen the day of the light till now.

chalo ab is film ke 4 main characters hai with a special guest appearance to follow later on ,i will talk about all the main protagonists in detail ,I start from the picture at the top left hand corner and follow it (dont worry i will also put the fifth picture later)

so introducing the class of 392 :

ATIN --- there's only word which can describe him "practical" .He lives life as it comes ,with no past baggages ,knows how to get things get done by hook or crook ,takes to tensions in life and helps you whenever it is needed.over the past few years i have seen great leadership skills inculcating in him ,thanks to this bus journey (wo bhi ye accept karega).this guy was always at the forefront of all the quarrels that took place while travelling to noida from delhi and back ,kabhi bas kaharab ho jaati thi aachank se ,kabhi bus chalti hi nahi thi ,jo bhi ho he always knew how to get the things done ,i just wonder why aren't more people like him fighting for their rights ,including me ,but the one incident i would never forget was when a bunch of girls had to get down at AIIMS for it's annual fest and he agrees to guide them ,bas ussi time par i opened my big mouth and said "par tu to south ex mei utarta hai " ,i would never forget that moment , i nearly spoilt his golden opportunity.He's like the AAMIR KHAN of dil chahata hai for me ......bansalji i can always count upon you

BHARAT ---- and only one word describes him "loverboy",he's like the SAIF OF DIL CHAHATA HAI ,searching for his true love ,jo kabhi nahi mila bas kicks milti thi (i know he would kill me after reading this) i share a special kind of chemistry with him , we have talked all sort of crap from champions league football to girls in the bus to kill two hours from college to delhi ,though he ditched me in the 3rd year by opting for a hostel in the college ,but still he will always reamain part of the 392 gang ,bcoz more often than not he was at his home rather than his hostel room ,and i must warn you dont go by his bholi suraaaat itna seedha nahi hai jitna dikhta hai ,though he is the most good looking guy ,and girls had an instant crush on him ,while seeing him play football ,par afsos ye un sabka crush hi tha aaage kuch nahi hua (heheheh)........BJ i will never ever forget you (and tu bhi kabhi bhoolne ki koshish mat kariyo mujhe nahi to ????)

DAMAN-----and here comes the description of yours truly ,i have just one word for my self "frustrated",my friends relate me with AKSHAYE KHAANA of DIL CHAHATA HAI (ya i know mai itna accha nahi hoon dikhne mei ,and na hi koi dimple kapadia thi meri life mei),but i was serious kind ,always observing and cribbing in front of my friends about IIT ,the institute where i always wanted to be ,god knows how my friends coped up with me during the past four years ,kafffi patience hai unmei and i wouldn't like to add much about myself (comments hi padh lena about me)

SIDDHARTHA ---actually i don't have a dictionary with me to describe about him because thats what you need ,and his blog is a testimony to this statement , i would describe him as a complete music freak ,existentialist the most happening dude of our gang ,this guy was born to be a manager and he's almost half way there ,unlike me he has set goals in mind and achieves them ruthlessly, though i came close to him during the last few semesters but still i have lot of good memories to take with me about him......he rocksssssss

haaaan i remember that there is guest appearance to follow ,and its no ordinary guest appearance ,its a special one ...........................................

ye guest appearance mei prastoot karta hoon our very own RAGHAV .just one word describes him BINDAAAS ,though sometimes he can become a little bit senti ,please beware about this trait,though he traveled in the bus for only one semester but still he is part of the gang ,we will never forget his VATANAKULIT CAR trips from the college to our homes (sometimes we all became lucky ,that we did not have to spend 2 hrs in the bus journey),one incident that i will never forget is when he slept for the whole bus journey and landed up at the last stop ( sone ki isse kaffi bimaari hai) ,and if you ever get on phone with him,then surely your one hour is gone ,timepass karne ki to aadat hai na isse ,and its beacause of him that i have got into this bad habit of long and endless phone conversations with others (i would never forgive him for this).........JAI HARYANA RAGHOOJI

So this was about my friends ,with whom i have spent my precious four years of life in the times of happiness and sorrow ,and these are the memories i shall always carry forward with me ,wherever i go MAIN JAHAN RAHOON YE YAAAAD SAATH HAI ,though now being in IIT i dont have to spend those 4 hours on the daily bus journey but i miss it everyday ,and just wish those times come back again (though i know its not possible) ,whenever i board a DTC bus in delhi , i just hope to see all my friends sitting there and chirping and chatting about any absurd topic we all used to do ,but then i soon realize that time has moved on ,we are all at different phases of our life and we may probably never be together again (though i pray ek baar to sab mil lein.....)

PS:Last heard the DTC bus no 392 had stopped plying between delhi and noida due to some dispute ,may be this bus was waiting for our last journey together to come to an end!!!!!!!