A Dream- Part II

Time to complete the story I had left….. though deep inside I know, hardly anyone is interested in reading it …..( going by the comments I received on my last post)….but still I want to tell my story …….

What after the alarm went bang on that day , I did wake up in 6 in da morning, not to attend my convocation… seriously I had no motivation in attending the ceremony at a place where i hated going …. Everyday ……where there was no respect for your talents…. A place where they taught you to build “dreams” in da air, without laying down the necessary foundation needed to build it …. To me you can never build dreams in thin air…. Perhaps I did not want to receive my degree from certain individuals ……

So where the hell I was on that day?? … I went to an institute …. the best the country has to offer in fulfilling my IM ( Intellectual Masturbation) on the paper which i had been writing …. To me this was productive … rather than catching 392 and spending an hour on da trip that took me no where …… Even if there was a 0.000000001 probability in me attending it ….. i made sure that the event never took place by not completing the stupid “NO DUES” form of my institute … I never told my parents about the event …. else they would have forced me to go there … I did receive the email ……but it pressed the DELETE button … I did not want my mom to applaud my degree … bcoz deep inside I knew that she never wanted me to come to this institute ….. so there was no point in making her put an artificial veil of happiness over her face ….bcoz I had let her down…. her dreams never crystallized…….

And to my friends …. I never felt that I would gain anything from attending it …. firstly my best friend wasn’t there and …. I felt that no one had ever understood me in those four years … my dreams and passions … to them perhaps I was some kind of weird … thing that had hit them out of the blue ……. Whatever … there was no point in going there and being “happy” in front of them…. My father always tells me that it’s best to avoid things that make you angry …. and out his thousand advices I followed this one …… I am sorry to my friends that I wasn’t able to meet them …. But I could not sacrifice myself for this occasion…. Convo’s are the events we look forward to in our lives …. But to me that day in January was just another day …….

PS: My Institute … I don’t know what forced them …. But they did deliver my degree to me next year as I signed the “NO DUES” form later …… though it did not really matter to me ….. it’s another piece of cardboard that lies in my drawer.

A Dream.......

You have cherished this moment since the day you entered the hallowed four walls of the institute. Slogging out the nights over a piece of code ... which fails to run because of some "Stack Overflow" error. Your life is hinged on it.... because you have gotta prove something.... but the bloody code refuses to run ... and you wonder what the hell..... the research paper annotates your discovery.. but oohh boy you need to implement it parctically ... to prove it to a panel of so called professors or "jokers" ...that you have discovered some thing new , a revolutionary idea ... though deep inside you know that no one will give a damn to your proposal.... they will sleep through the presentation and for formality say "good work"...... 

This apart .. their approval is critical to your dreams... which you have cherished over the years ... the dreams which started gaining shape the day you saw a "black box"... on which we depend a lot ....A COMPUTER... the fascination .. of how the hell this machine perform such calculations in a short span of time.... the discovery of your dream starts with revealing open every layer of this machine ... the processors , the registers and every piece of circuitary inside the black box... the madness extends further .... and you realise what this machine can compute and what it can't .. the so called theory of NP and complexity .... and then how the hell we are able to convert our so called "fourth generation language" the C ,C#,JAVA into bits of 0's and 1's.... but ohh boy the journey is fascinating ..... it transcends ... all the difficulties you face.........

And then the day comes... where sun is shining brightest ...on a chill january morning .. your day of reckoning... you are expected to get on the stage ... amids the round of applauses form your pals and parents which are sitting proudly .... the robe is  bit uncomfortable... but you hardly bother about this .....your name is called ... and their is a gulp in your throat ... the anxiety is killing you ... the sweat on dat .... january morning (is it possible???) ..you walk up to the stage ... with the hands shivering.... a piece of paper certifying your toil of four years is given to you ... you are anxious to get of it quickly... but then you realise whether... your moment of glory has been captured by the photographer or not ....you make it sure it very well happens... this photo will be shown to your children,grandchildren and so on....... you get off the stage... and realise that tears are rolling down your mom's eye ....... the moment sunks in.... the dream has been achieved or is it ??

But then suddenly the Alarm rings @ 6 in the morning ...............

(to be continued....)