EXPECTATIONS !!is there a end i wonder

So here i am back after i puked out all my frustrations in my previous post,and got an honest opinion from many of my class mates about it ,though i never expected it seriously but at least i was able to put forward my opinions in front of my "so called" and true friends ,had a lot of arguments with a few people ,but it helped me to clear my stand in front of them ,what i truly feel about them .i could no longer live a life of being a hypocrite being sweet in front of them and lambasting them on their backs........anyways enough about the sad things there's some good news to give

It's result season and IIT JEE results are out (i know all of my readers had enough of it ),but there's a slight change in the script this time ,i did not give the exam (yee being 23 it would be shameful) but my sis did give it and she cleared it ,yesss yessss finally she was able to achieve a good rank in her first attempt ,that i could not in my three attempts ,and i was more happy than her for obvious reasons ,but then a feeling of guilt did strike me ,why the hell i was realizing my dream through her ,what right did i have to virtually force her to give JEE when she was more interested in pursuing a career in medicine ,it all boils down to the word EXPECTATION.

I did promise myself that i would never be like the whole world ,trying to follow the herd in her case ,as i did in my case , i would try to be rational but ultimately i did follow the flock in a blind manner .perhaps it's to do with the experiences i had in my life that are to be blamed ,in my school days in class XI an XII my mom expected me to be in iit ,pursuing my bachelors a dream which i never fulfill (though i hope a masters and doctorate from IIT will some what cover up for it).coming to a wider point of view ,there have been instances when people have landed up at the wrong place because they had to fulfill someone's expectations and ultimately they ruined there life for good, what i have realized in a short span of time is that the more you achieve more the expectations of people rise and its pretty hard to fulfill them .it's like climbing a ladder where one reaches at the top and suddenly asks himself "why the hell i am here??",we all decide to be in iit's iim's because the picture is rosy ,media hypes them and we try to prove that we are the best ,its about what others thing about ourselves ,we need to build an aura of invincibility around ourselves but soon many of us realize it wasn't the the smartest move we ever made ,for instance studying computer science is not all about making those beautiful power point presentations or that flashy graphics.

It's because of these expectations from others that we change our lifestyle,our thinking and what not,perhaps the best thing is to follow one's heart and not one's mind beacuse heart is correct in 99 out of 100 cases in life .if you aren't happy with what you are doing ,no amount of money can make you think that you are happy (i know many will argue that money is everything in life ,but surely it isn't) ,if you believe you can fulfill your dream then go for it ,even if one fails the experiences will make him a better person in life ,for instance i did prepare for JEE in my college first year and now i am bearing the fruits as that preparation helped me to improve my analytical skills immensely,so don't always try to fulfill expectations of the whole world ,because more than ninety nine percent of individuals aren't as intelligent as you are.

AND finally i did dump away my JEE admit cards of three years and those counseling letters from IIT after five years after my sis's JEE result because a dream is fulfilled (ohhh wait i again started to realize my dream through her ,kya karoooon i am like another human being )

I CAN'T HELP IT!!!!!!!!!! though changes are for good , I AM TRYYYYYYYIIING .......