Not Connected...9920******

The decision came sooner than i had anticipated. The mobile companies just lost one subscriber...perhaps it does not matter to them when you have 600 million of them.

Designing and writing algos for them is different, still remember those my undergrad years when i was fascinated with the architecture of GSM...their data structures and how they manage to transfer calls from one Base Station to another...the security protocols and the encryption algos....

But the choice was rather personal..... have decided not to carry one for the foreseeable future...... hope to find more solace with my self.... hope i stick to it....

Deleted......

Today after much deliberation, i have finally deleted my facebook (suspended) , orkut and yahoo account (broke the final connection with my alma matter). These would remain cached as long as Google wants them, but some day they would disappear for good. I only have a google and a twitter account as of now.

Did some final weeding in my gmail...deleted my chat list, removed those fancy labels, filters are gone and i finally unsubscribed every damn magazine, newsletter and other event list. Pruned most of my cell contacts, created a backup of those silly photos and videos and archived them for good. The cell phone would be gone by sometime next week ( I am not ready for the 3G revolution!!!). I have a feeling that people would be better off without these distractions, as they were in the past.....and ya after backing up ....the blogger would also vanish....... and so would my footprint on the WWW.....

A Thought....

Today while returning back from work, i was thinking what lies ahead for me in the coming months. Either i can continue with the same routine or take a drastic step that can completely change my surroundings for the major chunk of my adulthood. Perhaps the decision involves many stakeholders, it's not always easy to only concentrate on yourselves, your desires and wishes... but feelings of others do matter.

I have always taken decisions which i felt were good for me..often shunning the criticism that i have faced about them. It's easy to take them while you are 18 something..but as you grow older decisions can have after effects which can be influential down the road. The though process has undergone a radical transformation over the past few days. The feeling to prove oneself has completely gone out of the window, because i have realized there are smarter asses than me all over the world and try as much, i can never be at par with them. So why not enjoy what you have got rather than go after something that's like chasing a mirage. Your core strength's determine your well being...some day i have to stop chasing goals. I know i am contradicting my self considering what i wrote in my last post, but the feeling to stop and enjoy my present state is stronger than it was ever before.

The eternal optimist in me is perhaps starting to betray me. It's part of the effort to change, that i am seriously contemplating to be more regular on my blog..I only wrote when i was frustrated, lonely and had to vent out my anger but one can easily express themselves on topics which have been always close to my heart but i never felt to talk about them. Writing helps me to put together my thoughts in a rational manner, be more articulate and perhaps improve my pathetic writing skills. It's not enough to be good at your own work, the power to express your self is important. In the past i have lost so many times with friends because i was not able to put down my problems in front of them. In the quest to achieve more and more i have failed to keep up with most of my old pals.

Conversations are important as they help you to put down your points, sitting alone can become frustrating after a while. They help you to discover parts of life that have been kept aside or lost in translation. The undiscovered or unprocessed side of your life can bring major surprises and shocks to oneself. It' no use of being timid and taking things as they come, one should be able to express his or her opinion about it. No one should take you for granted.

I have no idea where i started in this post or where i am going to end, perhaps it's the state of my mind. I agree the rant is still there though i have tried to suppress it... It's not easy doing that... perhaps things can and will change...

Magic and Reality....

It always has been the case that i put in my best efforts on things i love doing. Remarkably over the past eight months i have enjoyed each and every moment that i have spent at my workplace, having the privilege to interact with best of the brains that i have met. Though it's a different aspect that i never wanted be in this city as part of my assignment, mumbai still beckons me and hope i will be there one day.

Dreams are part of one's folklore, the struggles to achieve them and then aiming a tad higher. Perhaps I can never be satisfied in a state, transition is mandatory as in the case of automata theory :)... I dont have any hint regarding the decision with i have to take by April mid...but hell i am not worried about it at this juncture of life..because i have realised that i have never achieved my goals by thinking about them. I had the best time in my life when i stopped thinking about the outcomes of my decisions.

So whats fascinating about my work life, well i can go back to my home after work and read about child hood idols the poincare's, riemann's and abel's. Mathematics to me has been the essence of my survival over the most stormy passages that i have experienced. It took my concentration away from the troubles and problems that i had to face growing up. My parents are still worried about this wastage of my precious time, when i should be socializing and going out with my friends ...(i hardly have any in delhi)...In the hindsight this unnecessary reading about the great works have helped me to be more rational, and solve some of the toughest lemmas, conjectures and hypothesis in computer science. Theoretical CS is 99% maths to me. The magic of turning machines, P Space and PCP have always fascinated me, right from the time i had laid my hands on them.

As for the reality..... you can imagine that being lost in this world can have ramifications in other aspects of your life, perhaps none greater than expressing yourselves in front of others, socializing with them. Though i have never considered them to be that important but i have started to realize that its' essential for one to move out of his comfort zone and look at at the other side with open eyes. I have serious problems in speaking publicly in front of a bunch of people. I have tried to look into this aspect over the past few months but i always have a feeling that certain things are not necessary for your audience ...and a certain level of intelligence is expected...but perhaps the best speakers are the one that can take everyone along with them. It's very easy to speak in front of people whom you are comfortable with, but what counts is the first impression you leave on people that you don't know... It has always been easy for me to type pages and pages of what i wanted to express...but never had the confidence to express them in front of others... some thing or the other always ended my disastrous journey. Perhaps i am still overawed by the occasion.......

I guess being satisfied after reading and understanding roughly 200 pages of perelman's proof of poincare's conjecture it not that healthy..:)

rt

War and Peace

Today everyone woke up to the surprising news of Barack Obama winning the Nobel prize for peace. This news has stirred up a debate about his candidacy for the prize, with people questioning the basis or the deeds which led to him winning the prize. I must admit that i never dreamt in my wildest dreams that he would win the prize.

What has he done? none of his promises have bore any fruit till now be it the Israel palestine conflict or his promise to talk with Iran, his efforts to free the world of the nuclear weapons. Frankly speaking he has done nothing, he has only talked about it. The nobel committee feels that his efforts in bringing together leaders and reaching out to people in middle east and western asia is a start in the right direction. The lecture which he gave at the Cairo University was certainly a good start.

I support the viewpoints of the people opposed to his name for the coveted prize, but then we are forgetting a point that nobel peace prize is more about a political statement rather than a right person being nominated for it. Certainly there were better candidates this year be it the Zimbabwean leader Morgan Tsvangirai, but there is a message that the nobel committee wants to send out this year.

The message is clear, it wants to put pressure on US to stop taking the military option in solving conflicts. Bearing in mind the conflicts of Iraq and Afghanistan , it does not want to see Iran conflict taking the same shape. Obama being the commander in chief of the most powerful force in the world would think twice before using any military option. There has been a lot of expectation from Obama ever since he assumed the presidency of the united states. He has tried to mend relations with the world which were thwarted by the arrogant stance of George Bush , who was at war while he went to sleep.

Cynics would bash this choice for the nobel prize, his supporters would now think that he is the ultimate saviour of the world. But the expectation or the promises may never be fulfilled. So we all must tread cautiously, without expecting miracles. Today's decision perhaps reflects this sense of expectation, the optimism that Obama would make every thing right. Will he become the second man to walk on water, perhaps time will tell, but today's decision reflects the hopes of people all around the world. I am sure he is no "Mahatma" or "Martin Luther King", but its very easy to point fingers at others, without putting your feet in his shoes.

When he ran for Presidency, opponents said he was more of a celebrity with exceptional oratory skills, but he proved everyone wrong. Many would think today's decision is influenced by the power of the US, but then who says everything which happens is fair. Some how i have this feeling that people are wary of his success, his rise has been so meteoric that no one expected.
I can only say that we must respect the fact that he has done all this through his hard work, and in your journey of success you reach some heights which you have never dreamt, may be it is just one of these days!!!

Power Of Finger!!

I regret the fact the we all take this right for granted!!! ... when over half the population all over the world is ruled by dictators.Just wish that the remaining 47 who didn't vote some day stand up lighting candles and demand their rights.....

Bindaaaassss....

As the saying goes, whatever begins has to come to an end ...perhaps i am glad that today it has come to an end..the ordeal is over ... i have tried to live these two years with minimum fuss and complexity in my life ..where the soul goal was to focus on my dream of a grad school ...and i have pretty much achieved the same. This time has not been easy, i have sat in class rooms where the walls were like a prison. I have seen professors blabber stuff which is utter nonsense, people giving presentations where they expressed one sentence in 10 lines ... going round and round like a jalebi ...with little content and all gas ...and they bloody say that ..they are Einsteins deserving all the fame and moolaha....

I did try to be patient, but then there was always and adversary which always challenged my temper ,be it the unprofessional behavior shown in the classes , disrespecting your batch mates...and thinking that they are too cultured to be with someone ..i must say that modernity is not being hep .... going to pubs ...laughing at others ... just becoz ... they are not part of your culture ... the best way to answer them is to reach pedestals that they can never imagine to reach ... there's no way of doing right a wrong thing ....just becoz the rest of the class does it you follow it and vindicate the same... I know life is not fair , but then it's upto us to leave a level playing fiels and not to bask in the glory ...whose foundations have been shaky ......

I have realised that people have been judging others ,on a set of parameters which they think are best for them... but i am glad that people who have been considered outsiders have walked away with the highest laurels in the class, be it the best pay packets or the admits to the prestigious universities ...perhaps this might open their eyes and they would stop having negative opinion about them ...considering them weird .... dehaati... and what not .... please look at where you stand and then have opinions about the others. I have tried to be calm but as the adversary argument tries to challenge your solution to an algorithm .. i am driven on by the negative vibes that i get ... it challenges me to transcend horizons and leave them far behind ... never to look at them.

I would admit that i have made pretty good friends in these two years and will never forget ..perhaps it's bcoz of them that i have been able to live my time out here.. i am thankful to you all .... but i am pretty happy that it's all over and i would not interact with people ...who want to make it big in life by using whatever means .... they think is right ..


ALL THE BEST TO THEM ... but remember that you cannot reach horizons which demand true hardwork and diligence .....